I am frustrated by the concept of food.
I know how to eat healthy. I eat like the healthiest person in the world. No gluten. No Dairy. No Soy. That cuts out delicious pastries, ice cream, any type of candy and pretty much anything processed.
But even when I eat something healthy all I feel is FAT FAT FAT.
I am not fat. I know that. Im 5’2 and 107 Pounds. But all I see in the mirror is someone who needs to be 105.
I do eat; I eat every meal. But after every meal I feel sick to my stomach. I keep it down.
But I am constantly counting every calorie I eat. I feel like I have some confusing eating disorder that involved eating normal amounts and keeping it down but just being constantly overwhelmed by the fact that I am eating.
So to anyone who battles with ED or doesn’t and has a screwed up view on food - My heart goes out to you and you are not alone. You are amazing and I hope you get better. Because I know I feel like crap — and I am sorry you have to feel this way too.